Is Your Relationship Healthy?
Take this quiz and find out!
If you'd like to see how healthy your relationship is, note your answers to the following statements:
IS IT HEALTHY?
(I/we) have fun together more often than not.
(I/we) each enjoy spending time separately, with our own friends, and with each other's friends.
(I/we) always feel safe with each other.
(I/we) trust each other.
(I/we) are faithful to one another. (if this is an agreement you have made with one another.)
(I/we) support each other's individual goals in life, like pursuing a certain career, or hobby.
(I/we) respect each other's opinions even when they are different.
(I/we) solve conflicts without putting each other down, cursing at each other, or making threats.
(I/we) accept responsibility for our actions.
(I/we) apologize when we are wrong.
(I/we) have equal decision making power about what we do in our relationship.
(I/we) each control what we'd like to do with our own money.
(I/we) are proud to be with each other.
(I/we) encourage each other's interests, like sports, reading, cooking, etc.
(I/we) allow one another privacy for things like letters, phone calls, diaries, etc.
(I/we) have close friends and family who like the other person and are happy about our relationship.
Neither of us ever feel like we're pressured for sex.
(I/we) communicate about sex. (If your relationship is sexual)
(I/we) allow each other space when we need it.
(I/we) always treat each other with respect.
IS IT UNHEALTHY?
(I/we) get extremely jealous or accuse the other of cheating.
(I/we) put the other down by calling names, cursing, or making the other feel bad about him/her self.
(I/we) yell at the other and treat him/her like a child.
(I/we) don't take the other person, or things that are important to him/her seriously.
(I/we) don't listen when the other talks.
(I/we) frequently criticize the other's friends or family.
(I/we) pressure the other for sex or makes sex hurt or feeling humiliating.
(I/we) have ever threatened to hurt the other or commit suicide if they leave.
(I/we) cheat or threaten to cheat.
(I/we) tells the other how to dress.
(I/we) has ever grabbed, pushed, hit, or physically hurt the other.
(I/we) blame the other for our own behavior. ("If you hadn't made me mad, I wouldn't have...")
(I/we) embarrass or humiliate the other.
(I/we) smash, throw, or destroy things.
(I/we) try to keep the other from having a job or furthering his/her education.
(I/we) make all of the decisions about what the two of us do.
(I/we) try to make the other feel crazy or play mind games.
(I/we) go back on promises.
(I/we) act controlling or possessive, like we own one another.
(I/we) use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for hurtful behavior.
(I/we) ignore or withhold affection as a way of punishing the other.
(I/we) depend completely on the other to meet social or emotional needs.
After
taking the quiz, reflect on the answers you've chosen. Note where your
answers fall to give you a sense of whether there are issues of concern
that may need to be addressed. These are certainly not all the questions
that characterize what a healthy or unhealthy relationship is comprised
of; and even one single answer may be an indication of a serious
problem. If you would like further help or support with your
relationship, I invite you to get in touch with me for a free consultation.
2001 Wellness Reproductions and Publishing, Inc.
805-623-4177 | Santa Barbara, CA
Jill Rubin, LCSW
Relationship Coach
Psychotherapist
Helping you live the life you desire, through relationship coaching and psychotherapy.
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